sexuality

I Added A Kinky Dating Application to My OkCupid Profile. Here’s What Happened.

In late July, a friend sent me a screenshot of a woman’s Tinder profile where she included a link to a survey and directed men interested in dating her to fill it out. Although the questions she asked struck me as more superficial and entertaining than for compatibility assessment, I thought her idea was brilliant and decided to do the same for my OkCupid profile. Heck yes for efficiency, especially for someone like me who is seeking a partner with highly specific, somewhat less common preferences. (more…)

Men vs. Women: What Your Lover is ACTUALLY Freaking Out About in Bed

During last weekend’s torrential snow dump, over a homemade orange Fanta snow slushie and after many hours of binge-watching Sex and the City, I started pondering the differences between men’s and women’s expectations and fears in bed. (more…)

Being the Change You Want to See in the Bedroom (a.k.a. Philly Sex Conference and Toy Shop!)

This past weekend, a friend and I attended the 8th Annual Careers in Sexuality Conference at Widener University in Chester, Pennsylvania. Although the event was geared largely toward aspiring sex educators, there was so much insight to absorb on a general level. Besides, two of the presenters wore dog collars. Dog collars! How cool is that?!

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Why My Mom Thinks I’m a Nymphomaniac

Yesterday when I came home from work, my mom confronted me. She told me that she read my previous post this week — the first post I have publicly shared on Facebook — not to be nosy, but to inspect my grammar. She then noticed a few of my racier titles and wound up reading more personal, intimate articles, like the first time I had intercourse. I was flattered when she whimsically compared me to the legendary Samantha Jones, though I express my sexuality far too lazily to be anywhere near Samantha’s reputation.

What my mom saw inspired both a disturbed horror and curiosity, especially for someone of her generation. (more…)

Dear Future Partner (Calling All Submissives)

In public, you are witty and cunning, but around women, you crumble inside. You fear being found out as a fraud, a coward, and anything less than a “real man”. You drive me wild, yet you have no clue why I would even give you the time of day.

You want me to tear your down to your raw, core emotions, then nurture you back to neutrality. You bear ample emotional baggage and need someone who loves your vulnerability as much as your strength. (more…)

You Can’t Afford Me: The Morality of Financial Sexual Domination

I remember hearing a few years ago of a woman who taught preschool by day and financially enslaved men by night. I don’t remember why the story made the news, but I was puzzled as to why this woman could say such mean things to her clientele, only to have them obediently lavish their life savings upon her.

I was asked the other day about my opinion of the morality of financial domination. What is financial domination, you ask? It’s a type of power play where a dominant partner “forces” a submissive partner to remit money. The play is entirely consensual and often involves blackmail, punishments, and other venues of humiliation by the dominant partner toward the submissive partner for the mutualistic benefit of both partners.

So, where does a reasonable person draw the line between sexual expression and placating an addiction to the point of destitution? (more…)

Fifty Shades of Pissed Off

Valentine’s Day rapidly approaching this weekend means the big screen debut of Fifty Shades of Grey will at last arrive as well. Will I, a self-proclaimed sexuality geek, be attending a viewing?

Hail naw.

At the lunch table this afternoon, my coworker described her lack of interest in both the books and the new film, and my boss agreed. Trying my best to not blush, I delivered a close-to-home-yet-pruned-for-work rant about my disgust with Fifty Shades and its heinously inaccurate depiction of the BDSM lifestyle. (more…)

That Time I Found a Dominatrix on Craigslist

I’ve had some thought-provoking experiences with Craigslist this past year. However, this recent experience was unique and delightful because I was not looking to sell more of my used undergarments and shoes to the men who my horrified mother refers to as, “those internet perverts”.

(… in that voice, no less.)

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How a Cartoon Show Taught Me That I’m Perverted

Hey! / What a wonderful kind of day / where you learn to work and play / and get along with each other / Hey!

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Ever see Arthur as a child? I grew up watching that show every day after school. Even as an adult, when I stumble upon reruns as I’m channel surfing, I’ll watch an episode or two (or ten) for old times’ sake.

I have a distinctive memory of one episode that forever changed my life. When one of Arthur’s friends rips his pants in front of their third grade class, Arthur begins have nightmares that he will be humiliated by having his underwear exposed at school, too.

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That Time I Sold My Shoes To Creepy Old Men (Foot Fetishism, Part 2)

On a lark, I listed some dirty, old shoes on eBay last summer. Years ago, my collection of shoes hit the 130 mark, and I just don’t have the room (or energy) to love and appreciate most of them anymore. I had heard that it’s possible to make hundreds of bucks on eBay selling used shoes to fetishists, so I figured, hey, why not give it a whirl. I artfully crafted a few listings and crossed my fingers. I mean, I love shoes, shoe fetishists love shoes… boom, instant camaraderie and cash. After all, we’d be looking out for each others’ best interests in a sorta-kinda-almost perverted mutualism, right?

Wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong.  (more…)