body shame

Big Fucking Deal

To my dear boyfriend, please read with caution, though none of this will come as a surprise.

In follow up to this article I recently shared on here as well as on my personal Facebook page about vagina-bearers having unintentionally painful sex, I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching lately. I know the pain the author talks about all too personally. Although my boyfriend and I have attempted intercourse several times in the past few months, it has never been pleasurable because I’m in too much pain for us to actually do anything. At best, we try to insert him into me, then lay motionless until I’m sufficiently numb from the stinging to naively think I can tolerate more. Thrusting hasn’t even been a possibility yet, just (barely) insertion and the occasional wriggle forward and back a couple of times. Who’d have thought that something with such a soft, pliable tip could feel so sharp, like a dagger piercing through my flesh?
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My Body Is Disgusting

When people say that their bodies are gross or disgusting, I hear hatred — a long-standing loathing that has spent years brewing. Even when people say that other people’s bodies are disgusting, I still hear self-criticism.

How old were you when you were first ashamed of your body? Most of us first experienced that feeling in childhood, and it has recurred through the rest of our lives.

Shame is learned. We are taught to hate our bodies. Why? Because insecurity sells. Cosmetics, gym memberships, workout gear, fancy cars and purses… It’s all about money.

Most of my teenage years were occupied with hours upon hours of obsessing over every inch of my body. I spent at least twelve hours each week grooming myself

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The Below-the-Belt War on Women (aka Why You Should Stop Buying “Feminine Washes”)

Sitting in my boyfriend’s dormitory bathroom yesterday, my eyes struck something truly horrid. Unfortunately, it wasn’t just the less-than-maintained toilet bowl in exactly the condition you may expect of average college-aged men… It was much worse.
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The Real You Is Sexy, As Long As You’re Model-Sized

I love Aerie stores. Their clothing is soft and lightweight, and their lingerie is feminine and detailed. I’ve been a fan for years. I’m even wearing a pair of their lounge pants right now.

With that said, I have mixed feelings on their new campaign. I’m thrilled that they’ve vouged to stop retouching photographs of their models, but the whole “the real you is sexy” movement would be more meaningful if they actually carried a wider range of clothing and lingerie sizes than just those which fit their leggy, busty, slender models. Sexiness comes in all shapes, after all. (more…)

My Ugly Neighbor is Naked… Again

I was perusing through my old Facebook statuses in search of throwback fodder for this week’s bloggage when I stumbled upon this post from a few years ago.

“I feel like there’s something inherently wrong with our society’s narcissistic obsession with physical beauty when we can claim that someone is “not attractive enough to be naked”. What ever happened to just looking away? I’m not a fan of gazing at sagging buttcheeks or excessive body hair, but I can’t say I’d feel right about assuming the authority to tell people they can’t show their less-than-what-I’d-find-appealing bodies in my presence. Quite frankly, I give major kudos to everyone confident enough to bear to be bare, with or without social approval.” (more…)