Come Again? (aka Why I Have a Bone to Pick With Orgasm-Centric Sex)

One of my favorite college memories is of a time when I experienced one of the greatest emotional connections I have ever had with a romantic partner. That evening, he and I decided to become sexually intimate with each other. We fooled around for a couple of hours, helping each other masturbate, but neither of us was having any success bringing the other to orgasm, even though I had my handy dandy vibrator in tow. We could not pinpoint what was missing, as we were used to getting each other off all the time; our bodies simply weren’t cooperating how we wished. Eventually, we paused to rest and decided to quit for the evening. (more…)

Limp Dicks and Bare Faces: A Female Perspective on Impotence

There is an episode of Sex and the City where the protagonist is dating a short story writer who, ironically, prematurely ejaculates. When I watch that episode in the company of male friends, they burst out laughing during the scene where we first witness Mr. Man’s sexual difficulty. Immediately thereafter, that hearty laughter turns to thinly veiled nervous laughter. Female friends, however, have never laughed. In contrast, they have tended to sympathize with the protagonist’s frustration with her partner — not so much over his sexual difficulty, but over his disinterest in discussing it with her. (more…)

That Time I Bought My Mom a Vibrator for Christmas

One of the free toys I received at the Philly Sex Conference I recently attended was the Lelo Lily. In addition to its discreet power, it is so user-friendly that I purchased one for my anti-sex-toy, anti-techno-gadget, pro-naggage mother on Amazon over the Thanksgiving holiday weekend. (more…)

You Think I’m Hot, and I Think You’re Hot. Why Is That Not Enough?

A friendquaintance recently propositioned me for casual sex. He and I hadn’t spoken in a long time and had a few phone calls to sorta-kinda reconnect, where we discussed our mutual physical attraction toward each other that had built over the past few years. However, I was explicit in the reasons that I would not be consenting to sex, first and foremost for the damage that it would cause to one of my other, much closer friendships, but also because I did not think he and I were sexually compatible. We’re both very dominant in bed, and I foresaw an obnoxious power struggle that was worth neither my energy nor traumatizing my aforereferenced friendship. (more…)

Being the Change You Want to See in the Bedroom (a.k.a. Philly Sex Conference and Toy Shop!)

This past weekend, a friend and I attended the 8th Annual Careers in Sexuality Conference at Widener University in Chester, Pennsylvania. Although the event was geared largely toward aspiring sex educators, there was so much insight to absorb on a general level. Besides, two of the presenters wore dog collars. Dog collars! How cool is that?!


That Time I Had a Crush on a Girl

In college, I was once in a class of mostly women and found myself inexplicably drawn to one classmate. She had a feminine name by birth, but her friends called her by a masculine nickname, which I thought was awesomely badass. While I didn’t know enough about her to be attracted to her personality, she was visually captivating. Something about her harmonic voice, sweet smile, svelte figure, and soft, highlighted blonde curls regularly captured my attention. I used to feel myself blushing when we would occasionally make eye contact. (more…)

Why My Mom Thinks I’m a Nymphomaniac

Yesterday when I came home from work, my mom confronted me. She told me that she read my previous post this week — the first post I have publicly shared on Facebook — not to be nosy, but to inspect my grammar. She then noticed a few of my racier titles and wound up reading more personal, intimate articles, like the first time I had intercourse. I was flattered when she whimsically compared me to the legendary Samantha Jones, though I express my sexuality far too lazily to be anywhere near Samantha’s reputation.

What my mom saw inspired both a disturbed horror and curiosity, especially for someone of her generation. (more…)

Dear Future Partner (Calling All Submissives)

In public, you are witty and cunning, but around women, you crumble inside. You fear being found out as a fraud, a coward, and anything less than a “real man”. You drive me wild, yet you have no clue why I would even give you the time of day.

You want me to tear your down to your raw, core emotions, then nurture you back to neutrality. You bear ample emotional baggage and need someone who loves your vulnerability as much as your strength. (more…)

Surrendering My Birth Control Pills (Though, Thankfully, Not to the Government)

In the aftermath of my recent breakup, one decision I’ve been pondering is whether or not to continue taking birth control pills. I love making executive decisions, but this one has me helplessly on the fence.

Do I need birth control pills? No, but knowing what I know now, I probably didn’t need them at all during the relationship; they were merely a source of comfort that I felt gave me access to a greater variety of activities. The fact that those riskier activities were rarely explored is beside the point. (more…)