That Time I Bought My Mom a Vibrator for Christmas

One of the free toys I received at the Philly Sex Conference I recently attended was the Lelo Lily. In addition to its discreet power, it is so user-friendly that I purchased one for my anti-sex-toy, anti-techno-gadget, pro-naggage mother on Amazon over the Thanksgiving holiday weekend.

The Lelo Lily is the cutest jelly bean — or as I have been describing it to friends, new age sexy jumping bean from the future — that I have ever owned. It is specifically designed for clitoral, inner and outer labia, perineum, and other external stimulation, and I can personally attest that it does its job well. The box boasts that it’s one of Lelo’s best sellers.

Pretty toys feel better.

Pretty toys feel better.

At the conference, most of us were given a choice of two types of Lelo toys: either one of the wands, or this bullet-style. I specifically chose this one because I enjoy a light, concentrated tickle throughout any prolonged sexual engagement and assumed this would be perfectly suited for my needs. That, and it’s about as travel-friendly as a luxury vibrator could come.

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Lily comes with ten vibration options, controlled by simply pressing the right button for half a second to increase speed or the left to decrease it.

The first six options range from a slow, steady vibration when you first start, to one fast and strong enough that Lily may dance out of your hand if your grip isn’t secure. When you’re feeling more festive, hold the right button for three full seconds to trigger the second type of vibration options, which I’ve taken the liberty of describing below:

7.  Feels like: Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz… Translation: This one is a natural rhythm with maybe one second between pulses. By natural, I mean it’s a rhythm that your body would probably do on its own as you’re orgasming.
8.  Feels like: Buzz-buzz-buzz-buzz-buzz… Translation: Sexy techno? It gets my attention right away and is notably faster than my phone’s vibration.
9.  Feels like: BUZZBUZZBUZZBUZZBUZZ! Translation: Heavy pulsing. I don’t recommend starting on this intensity when you first whip our your Lily on any occasion, lest you sand off your clit, but when you want something to make you writhe and fidget, ding ding ding.
10.  Feels like: Bbbbbbbbbuzz… Bbbbbbbbbuzz… Bbbbbbbbbuzz… Translation: This one kind of feels like you’re trying to start one of those leaf blowers with a long pull-cord. It’s a slow acceleration paired with an abrupt conclusion.

Option #7 is, by far, my favorite because it mimics the pattern of my natural orgasm contractions and tricks my body into thinking I’m having one long wave of orgasms for virtually as long as I want. When paired with a partner’s finger inside me, I could orgasm all damn day if we had the time and energy. This setting alone is well worth the $80 sticker price for me.

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For my routine, Lily has practically replaced my previous cheapo vibrator, and I’ll definitely be buying more of Lelo’s toys in the future. Whether you want to lay back and not put forth a lick of effort, or if it’s a day where you want a tease up and down your everything (and I do mean everything), this gizmo is perfect for both. For newbies and veterans alike, I strongly recommend Lily for anyone who enjoys clit play and/or tickling.

The love is here to stay — and she’s rechargeable!

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