23 comments

  1. I’ve read this all and feel like I know you! I’ll owe you one if you can teach me how to squirt. I have a feeling that my friend that says she can, is just making this up. Regards, Amber

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  2. Good post; masturbation is a vital part of being in touch with yourself (so to speak). When I was in college in the early 1970s — despite the latter part of Second Wave Feminism — many young women were woefully, often willfully, ignorant of their own sexual anatomy and needs. Some (to my delight) were not. Knowing yourself is crucial to teaching your lovers how to please you, and masturbation is just one more item in a robust sexual toolkit.

    I think there are some studies showing that regular orgasms (I aim for one a day) do reduce stress and promote heart health (well, anything that gets your heart pumping does). They also release floods of endorphins, so there’s a natural high involved.

    FWIW, I’ve always agreed with the hypothesis that the Gräfenberg spot is the base of the structure of the clitoris, so no wonder it’s such a hot button — kind of an internal direct connection. There are some sexual positions that allow the guy to bang (so to speak) against it with typically good results — sometimes *really* good results! (One lover said she hadn’t come that good in years.)

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    1. I completely agree – knowing yourself IS crucial, and I love your phrase, “robust sexual toolkit”. You’re also spot-on about the empirical data backing the comprehensive benefits of orgasm. In addition to endorphins, orgasm and masturbation both release high doses of dopamine (one of the most potent “happiness” hormones) and metabolize cortisol (the stress hormone). The difference is that orgasm’s beneficial effects are exponentially stronger, but both do wonders for our physical and mental health overall.

      As for the g-spot, I hadn’t heard that before! I find it fascinating that the clitoris is a much larger structure than people think, shaped like a wishbone and buried deep beneath the little nub that we see externally. Experts claim that one reason anal sex can be pleasurable for women to receive is because it allows for clitorises to be stimulated at angles which are impossible to access via vaginal and external stimulation. And speaking of fascinating, I think it’s SO COOL that g-spots have ridges which are oh-so-conveniently stimulated by the ridges of penis heads, or other phallic objects with a conical tip and excess ridge. Nature pre-loaded us with harps! Talk about making beautiful music.

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      1. Totally! There are so many things about nature that have to make you wonder. The way barley seems perfect for making beer, or grapes and apples for making wine and apple jack, or certain herbs and mushrooms for making pretty colors, or the way orgasms kinda blow your mind.

        Hard not to think of those all as God’s gifts to those that pay attention.

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      2. I feel masturbation is important both for men and women. When in my younger years I would masturbate 3 times a day, now in my older years when I can find a quite place to be alone I like masturbating twice a day, being a nudist helps…less to take off lol.

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          1. Nothing finer than taking care of those feelings and needs when they arise. I get pissed off cuz women can masturbate like every 5 minutes lol while I have to wait for a couple hours ….. whats up with that!!! lol

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            1. I’ve known men who could sometimes rapidly recovered after orgasm and could go again within a few minutes. It depends on the person. Also, all of the women I know don’t strive for their own orgasm marathons on a daily basis. It’s more of a side dish for special occasions.

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  3. When I first saw this post yesterday, I actually felt giddy inside. Such a refreshing read. Thank you so much for writing about such an IMPORTANT topic that is so unnecessarily taboo in our society. I’m convinced frequent orgasms along with regular workouts of the non-sexual variety got me through the stress of college in one piece.
    Also, I learned a few new new things while reading, which was great. 🙂

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    1. Thank you for your kind words! I’m delighted that you care as much as I do about eliminating the stigma of female masturbation, and I’m pretty sure frequent orgasms helped me survive college, too. It’s nice to hear the camaraderie. Thank you for making my day. 🙂

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        1. I wish we all had more chances to talk about it. Sexuality is a major component of overall mental and physical health, and it devastates me that it’s so heavily stigmatized in everyday, platonic conversation.

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          1. Oh, absolutely. Sex is such a regular part of life. It’s not dirty or vulgar or gross. It’s part of who we are but so few people want to accept that. I agree, it’s terrible and really quite wrong.

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