(Borrowed from Elsewhere) If You Get Married, Will You Take His Last Name?

This post hit especially close to home for me, as this is an emotionally-charged topic which I have discussed at length with numerous romantic partners, friends, and family members. Goodness forbid that some of us value our individual identities as well as our familial ones. I say it’s high-time to ditch the name-change-for-women expectation.

ShoutOut! James Madison University

Marriage. As a 21-year-old college senior, that’s something that feels incredibly far away. But realistically, if I end up getting married (which is something that I want to do), it will probably be sometime in the next ten years, especially if I want to start having kids in my early thirties. Of course, many people my age are already married or engaged, which is not in my immediate plans, but to each their own. Whenever I see someone new who gets engaged or married on social media, I see dozens of posts that say “Proud Mrs. [insert his full name here]!”, “Can’t wait to be a [insert his last name here]!”, or other exclamations. This got me thinking: Will I change my last name when I get married?

120178579 gettyimages.com

Quick note: I’m going to be speaking in a heterosexual context because I am heterosexual so that’s what I’m most familiar with and because…

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    1. I like your creativity. I’m all for team new-name; I just haven’t had enthusiastic reactions from partners when I broached the topic. Same with adoption of children rather than breeding my own — seems the guys I’ve asked want kids with their DNA and last names. Silly, silly, silly.


      1. I really don’t get the attachment to names that people have. I don’t really care what you call me so long as you do call me for dinner and don’t call me a taxi. But then I’m adopted, so maybe that has something to do with it.

        And obviously therefore totally support adoptive parents. People love the idea of rescuing pets; why not rescue some actual humans?


        1. I think it’s wonderful that you’re adopted! The more I think about reproducing, the more I feel guilty and selfish for considering bringing new life into this world when there are already so many children in need. If it’s about love, why get our feathers ruffled over genetics?


          1. I suppose there’s the whole “miracle of birth” thing, but [a] half the world never gets to really experience that in the first place, and [2] there are plenty of other miracles to experience. 🙂


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