Sitting in my boyfriend’s dormitory bathroom yesterday, my eyes struck something truly horrid. Unfortunately, it wasn’t just the less-than-maintained toilet bowl in exactly the condition you may expect of average college-aged men… It was much worse.
It was a bottle of Vagisil pH Balance Wash belonging to his roommate’s girlfriend.
“Helps fortify natural defenses” my ass. And pH Balance? As in not using this wash will leave your vagina unbalanced? Hardly.
My boyfriend and I have spent at least a combined 20 minutes ranting to one another about the nonsense written on this package.
“Did you know that your period, menopause, having sex, even some daily cleansers can disrupt your vaginal balance?”
Ha! The most cringeworthy part of this statement is how it reads that “some daily cleansers”, i.e. exactly what this product is, “can disrupt your vaginal balance”. Your period, menopause, and having sex are all natural processes for which your vagina is probably perfectly prepared as far as “balance” goes, with the exception of a lessening of natural vaginal lubrication for menopausal women due to their changes in estrogen levels, and I seriously doubt anything contained in this bottle of marketing sludge will make any difference for the better.
“Only Vagisil pH Balance Wash has LactoPrebiotic. Use it every day to help maintain a healthy pH balance.”
Googling “LactoPrebiotic” brings up only Vagisil-pushing articles for the first ten results. (I stopped looking after the first page.) Sounds like a made-up, pseudo-medical fluff term to me, like when lotion commercials talk about “anti-aging technologies”.
“And a balanced pH is an important step towards good intimate health.”
Again, vaginas tend to regulate themselves. Unless you’re battling an infection of some kind from an introduced substance (like, say, “feminine wash”), your vagina is likely to be “balanced” and perfectly healthy as-is.
“Directions: For external use only.”
For external use only — as in not to be used IN your actual vagina. But wait a minute! The label says that you need to balance the pH of your vagina! And yet this wash is, according to the same label, only to be used outside of your vulva? HMMM, THAT’S FISHY.
Now let’s check out the ingredients. I ran the list on Skindeep’s “Build Your Own Report” feature. Here’s what came up:
Notice that this includes both fragrance and dye, two types of ingredients which should NEVER be introduced to the super absorbent mucosal membranes in and around the vagina and vulva. Also of note is that ingredient DMDM hydantoin is a formaldehyde releaser. Admittedly, I was surprised to see that about half of the remaining ingredients are either benign or have not been sufficiently researched to identify their hazardousness. The only ingredient in this muck which you would benefit from using in and around your ladyparts is water.
The cherry on top of this less-than-charming product?
“Vagisil is a proud sponsor of the Half the Sky Movement – supporting women and girls worldwide… Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide.”
Supporting them with what, cancer? ‘Scuse me while I go answer that hypocrisy alarm I hear ringing in my brain. If Vagisil actually wanted to give a damn and turn “oppression into opportunity”, let’s start with not making products aimed to create problems out of non-problems for women who have better things to do than waste time, energy, and money washing body parts which naturally clean themselves — not to mention any care needed to treat infections and cancers to which “feminine washes” potentially contribute.
As a side note, check out these other scores. Skindeep’s current database at this time I wrote this post contained just two Vagisil products. Skindeep ranks products on a 0 (least toxic) to 10 (most toxic) scale, and it’s not surprising that both received an extensively unhealthy score.