Men vs. Women: What Your Lover is ACTUALLY Freaking Out About in Bed

During last weekend’s torrential snow dump, over a homemade orange Fanta snow slushie and after many hours of binge-watching Sex and the City, I started pondering the differences between men’s and women’s expectations and fears in bed. (more…)

Come Again? (aka Why I Have a Bone to Pick With Orgasm-Centric Sex)

One of my favorite college memories is of a time when I experienced one of the greatest emotional connections I have ever had with a romantic partner. That evening, he and I decided to become sexually intimate with each other. We fooled around for a couple of hours, helping each other masturbate, but neither of us was having any success bringing the other to orgasm, even though I had my handy dandy vibrator in tow. We could not pinpoint what was missing, as we were used to getting each other off all the time; our bodies simply weren’t cooperating how we wished. Eventually, we paused to rest and decided to quit for the evening. (more…)

Do You Mind If I Tell People We Met at the, Uh, Gym?

Why is there still a stigma about online dating? We do EVERYTHING else online. We’re constantly technologically connected, and we crave instant gratification. Sure, that means you’re choosing between infinitely more people than you could otherwise meet day-to-day, but the convenience of being able to peruse countless (well, practically countless) potential dates from your couch, your bed, your toilet, the metro, or wherever is unparalleled. Why shouldn’t dating — or at least the preliminary stages of dating — be as easy as online shopping? (more…)

Man Up, Guys.

One of the radio shows that keeps me company on the way to work in the morning has a segment where they set up hoaxes for listeners who are concerned about the faithfulness of their significant others. The hoaxes usually entail calling the person’s significant other on the phone and posing as someone who works in a flower shop, under the ruse that the shop buys magazine subscription lists and the significant other has won this month’s random draw for sending a bouquet of a dozen roses (and sometimes a romantic massage for two) to someone special. (more…)

Why My Coworkers Secretly Hate Each Other

The law firm where I work aims to pair attorneys and paralegals in a 1:1 ratio, and with the exception of some of the more experienced paralegals, most of us meet that ratio. Therefore, it’s vital to the success of our teams that each attorney-paralegal pair has a positive working relationship, yet that goal is often overlooked. (more…)

An Open Letter to My Dead Brother, December 2015

Dear Connor,

These letters are always draining to write and often come after nights of ruminating and self-reflection. The days when I forget you’re dead are few and far between, and they leave a bittersweet aftertaste when reality sinks back in. I’m somewhere between happy and content on most days, but the ache of your memory is a residue that’s always present in the back of my emotional psyche, whether I remember to realize it or not.

The other day, I started thinking about the implicit guilt that accompanies grieving and realized that part of the guilt over your death of which I haven’t been able to let go is because of a conversation we had. (more…)

Limp Dicks and Bare Faces: A Female Perspective on Impotence

There is an episode of Sex and the City where the protagonist is dating a short story writer who, ironically, prematurely ejaculates. When I watch that episode in the company of male friends, they burst out laughing during the scene where we first witness Mr. Man’s sexual difficulty. Immediately thereafter, that hearty laughter turns to thinly veiled nervous laughter. Female friends, however, have never laughed. In contrast, they have tended to sympathize with the protagonist’s frustration with her partner — not so much over his sexual difficulty, but over his disinterest in discussing it with her. (more…)

Anonymous Comments Welcome

A lot of us (myself included) have been guilty of abusing online anonymity at some time or another. In high school, I remember the rise in popularity of a website that allowed people to make profiles and have their friends ask them anonymous questions. I also remember how a friend and I flooded the inbox of another “friend” we disliked with malicious comments, and how surprised I was when that person shut down her profile a few hours later.  (more…)

That Time I Bought My Mom a Vibrator for Christmas

One of the free toys I received at the Philly Sex Conference I recently attended was the Lelo Lily. In addition to its discreet power, it is so user-friendly that I purchased one for my anti-sex-toy, anti-techno-gadget, pro-naggage mother on Amazon over the Thanksgiving holiday weekend. (more…)

Are We Okay?

My favorite aspect of my most recent romantic relationship was our level of communication. Both he and I are exemplary at interpersonal communication in romantic contexts, and one of best ways we kept our relationship fortified was with three simple words: (more…)